I'm at school.

It is 9:37 in the morning and I am at school. . .I have been here since around eight for one class. Algebra. Science I can get, English I'm fine with, Music I excel at BUT math I fail at every time. As I move forward in life and get better at everything I do I still can't figure out math. I'm well aware that it is just steps. If you know the steps than you can figure it out fairly easily. I just can't seem to grasp and remember each step, it all seems very arbitrary and useless to me.

You're in a downward spiral.

You look around, it seems like everyone else is handling themselves with great dignity, they go through break ups, they lose friends and just move on, it amazes you. There is this girl. You saw her every day, you wanted her so bad. It wasn’t sexual at all, she was great to you. She treated you so well and made you pull out ideas and emotions you though you never had. You would say, “I’m fine!” and she would call you out knowing you weren’t. You would make fun of yourself and she would expose that you only do this to protect yourself. She made you so happy, she was always there.

But.

She wasn’t yours, she never was. Someone else had her. You were a side project, an accessory. At least that’s how you felt. It’s not like she meant to do this to you, and she didn’t, you did this to yourself.

You and I are the same. We are the same person. So what now? With her gone you need sedatives to make it through the day. Your songs aren’t inspired, your work ethic is nearly gone. Weed, alchohol, and sleeping pills are all that’s on your mind now.

You write on a tumblr that has become a type of secret journal that anyone could see if they only knew the url. Maybe she could see this, maybe she would know who it was about. Maybe she would call you to talk. Maybe the idea of a “maybe” scenario is all that keeps you going.

You started writing this knowing it would be about you, you try to write in the third person even though anyone that had known you for more than a day could see right through you. Just like she could.

You know that it was more than a crush, you could tell by that empty feeling after she left.

You know it will never be more than what it is.

It is what it is.

And it is over

for you

and I.

Anybody here?

I know it's been a while. Has anyone here ever had weight problems? If so how do YOU deal with them?

Preconceived Notions/Judgement

Let’s be honest, you’re going to be judged. You’re going to judge people. Either accidentally or on purpose, it’s going to happen. Unfortunately the entire idea of never judging anyone is just very unrealistic.

The important thing to remember is that whatever it is that separates you from anyone else is completely inconsequential. To a point of course. While I will decide for myself who I think is worth spending my time and emotion on by what type of person they are, it is necessary to remember that everyone should have an equal playing field. Sex, race, disability, religion, musical taste, whatever, these things mean nothing to me when I meet you. I am going to judge for myself if you are a good person or not by how you present yourself and the choices you make.

Being a black guy that says that most white guys are racist makes you just as racist as a white guy who thinks all black people are thieves. Being a woman who thinks all guys are pigs makes you no better than a guy who thinks all woman are sluts. The list goes on and on.

The double standard has to stop.

Are there racist white people? Yes. Are there black thieves? Yes. Are there slutty woman? Yes. Are there guys who treat woman like shit? Yes. All of these things exist. What you have to remember is that is not their race/sex ect. that made them this way, it is THEM. You as a person have a choice. I as a man CAN treat a woman like shit BUT it would not be because I am a man, it would be because I am an asshole.

I am ok with the generalization that all assholes suck. That is perfectly fine. But lets get it straight. All guys aren’t assholes, all women aren’t sluts, all gays aren’t feminine, all christians don’t hate gays, all muslims aren’t suicide bombers. Ect.

Judge me, i’m cool with that, it’s going to happen. But judge me on the choices I make, not on my skin, sex, sexual orientation, or religion. Because that person could be the nicest person on the planet and could treat you amazingly. If you go in with preconceived notions of who this person is you are wasting who they really are.

Just sayin

-Skenny

I love to know your thoughts. Please leave them in the comment section below.

Holy Shit It's Been A While!

Sorry guys! I lost my Adsense stuff and got a job so my motivation/time has been lacking BUT I am definitely coming back soon! Starting tomorrow I will be updating almost every day again and hopefully not disappointing everyone haha. Much love friends. I hope to see yah soon.

Been a while.

In case you're wondering why I haven't been posting it's because I recently got an EMAIL from Google letting me know that since my views were inconsistent they would be shutting down my Adsense account therefore making this blog unable to be monotized. So obviously I kinda lost the drive to keep blogging but i was wondering, do you guys want me to keep going because if enough people will keep reading this than I will keep going but if it's just me reading it haha then i'll probably quit. Let me know guys. Love yah

Great news all around!

Follow me on twitter here.

While I didn't update yesterday due to a hell of a bad mood, I have nothing but great news to bring you today.

I played at a Starbucks yesterday and was told by a few people that i'm a pretty good singer/guitar player so a little bit of my low self esteem and confidence issues got chiseled at which felt good. But the biggest news is that after almost a year of filling out hundreds of applications I finally have a job. I'm now a cashier at The Dollar Tree, while it may not be very attractive of a position I don't really care, I just feel so relived and happy that I have a job ANYWHERE. It feels good to know that my hard work has finally payed off in what seems to be a fairly positive way. I still haven't gotten a call from Guitar Center but if I could land both jobs I would be very happy.

In related news, school is going very well. Good grades and all blah blah blah. A new review should be up soon since I know i've been pretty lazy lately.

I wish you guys all a wonderful day and leave you with an amazing performance by Boyce Avenue.